World domination, you may repeat, confused, as most humans seem to be when confronted with the superior intelligence of my species. Well, you did not hear wrong. My goal is to dominate the sim world. And my plan is absolutely ingenious! I will have 100 alien babies, and their fathers will be the men of Barnacle Bay! This way, I will win the hearts and souls of the men, while also building an army of devoted followers.
What can I say? My old planet was getting a bit boring. And sim-mating sounds infinitely more enjoyable than mating among my species.
After my arrival, I purchased a place of residence. I will admit, it is not as spacious or grand as the castle I plan to have built after I become world dictator. And there is this sim invention called the garbage can that is meant to hold waste products. It smells absolutely vile. Why do these dimwitted sims not disintegrate their waste, as we do on my old planet? I was warned that the technology in Barnacle Bay was not very advanced, but for some reason I expected more.
Understandably a bit fearful, I entered my new home.
What I found was quite shocking after my easy existence and pampered life on my planet. I do not know who decided this place was fit for habitation! I did not know such poverty existed, such despicable conditions!
My home has only three rooms. This is the place where I will consume food and drink. I am told sims call it a "kitchen."
This is the table on which I will consume my food. It is fortunate that I do not plan on inviting others to share in my meals, because, as you can see, there no seats to spare.
In the same room lies my only source of entertainment (besides the hapless sims I chose to ensnare, of course): an easel. I am an excellent artist, so I was quite relieved to find that easels in the sim world are nearly the same as ours, except they do not float of their own volition.
And here is my bedroom. Yes, my bedroom is only a bed. But it is a double bed, which has enough room for my male company. I will be having a lot of that, of course! Though I hope they are not frightened away by my hovel of a home.
After much thought, I determined that the miniature third room was for me to remove my own waste, as well as clean my body.
Did I mention the eyesore that is directly across the street from my own abode? No wonder my puny front yard smells so unappealing! When I am world dictator, the cruel real estate agent that sold me this home will be the first of my personal slaves.
Naturally, after viewing my home I felt highly inspired to earn enough money to move into a nicer place of residence in a more upscale neighborhood of Barnacle Bay. I also suspect it would be difficult to raise so many offspring in this small home.
I began painting, hoping I could sell my pieces for significant amounts of money.
To my surprise, a small ringing sound interrupted my work. Apparently, when sims visit each other they press this button and it makes a sound to notify the home owner that guests have arrived. In this case, some local sims had heard that I moved in and wished to make me feel welcome.
I was disappointed that none of my visitors were of the male variety. But I brightened when I remembered that these women could have husbands, brothers, or sons for the taking, and that they were good sources of information.
The elderly woman informed me of the potential to be self-employed. I discovered that if I ventured to City Hall and registered myself as a painter, I could sell my paintings and obtain more and more money as my reputation increased.
I walked out of City Hall, a newly registered painter, when I had my first sight of a male sim being. It was not exactly awe-inspiring. He wore silly garments and had a large nose. But at least he showed the proper respect upon meeting me. He could not tear his eyes away. His hand stayed extended long after I had finished shaking his, as though he wanted to reach out and grab my hand again.
He was a very enthusiastic sim. He introduced himself as Alec Trebo amidst much excitement and gesturing. Apparently he is the descendent of pirates, which to my knowledge are sims that wear foolish clothes and ride in sea vessels searching for treasure. I sincerely doubt that this bumbling idiot has the courage to roam the seas, but I humored him.
"Your hair is very brown," I said in my most alluring voice. "How did it get that wonderful color?"
"My hair?" he said. "I, uh, was born with it that way...?
The sim known as Alec was receptive to my charms, but I feared that a more intelligent victim would have walked away. I vowed to learn how females flirt on this world!
Alec looked very proud of himself. Excellent! Let him think it was all his plan...
After more flirting and teasing, I exchanged saliva with Alec. I believe sims call it kissing? It was not the most wonderful experience, mostly because I suspect that Alec is inept, but I have faith that future sim lovers will be less annoying than him.
I informed him that he could now accompany me to my place of residence. As expected, he did not refuse.
Alec was quick to hop into my bed. He did not seem to notice the hideousness that is my home. Or perhaps his place of residence is worse! What an awful thought!
I wondered if Alec had ever encountered a female before. Somehow, I doubted this was normal behavior for sim males.
After that act was complete, I looked at Alec in satisfaction: I was sure that I was pregnant! And equally sure that as soon as I was pregnant I would never have to deal with him again. One male down, 99 to go!
Hello readers! Thanks for taking the time to check out my new 100 baby challenge! I hope you enjoyed it. I appreciate comments and would love to hear what you think :)
For more information about the rules I'm following, or the other 100 baby challenges that have inspired me, please check out the pages at the top of the blog.
THIS IS AMAZING. I WILL be following
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